Another Monday, Another Week

I think today will make the fifth or sixth week, I don't know. This is the time when you make it or break it... But anyways, I had a good weekend... I had some friends come over on Saturday and we kicked it and yesterday I spent some time with my mother. She's staying a week down here so I'll get some time to spend with her. I cannot wait until this weekend! July 4th weekend, and I'll be in New Orleans for the Essence Festival. I caught a good deal on a room. I always wanted to take her there, maybe I will get the chance one day.. or maybe next lifetime...

bw

More Inspiration

Wow, I just watched a powerful video by my favorite group, 112. I had to give my take on it. The song is on their new album, Pleasure & Pain, and the song's title is, What If. It asks a lot of legitimate questions regarding relationships of men and women. Here are the lyrics from the first verse.

What if I never slept around, never cheated on you girl/What if I didn’t break your heart and never ever ruined you world/What if I always was a real man, faced you face to face told you the truth?/What If I never ever tripped when you said you wanted to go out and hang with your crew?/What if I was a different man, than I was? What if I wasn’t so selfish and took one second just to listen to you/What if I was alone? On my own/What if I wasn’t so damn controlling, you would still be right here

Well, in the video, Mike has an argument with his girl, then she gets upset and leaves, and ends up getting in a car accident and died... I was like wow... That's some deep stuff... Life is too short to let petty things get in the way of a good relationship. I know many of us have learned that the hard way... I'm still learning. What if...

BW

Middle of the Week

It's another Hump Day, into the 5th week. Tonight I gotta finish cleaning up my house and possibly do some yard work. I'm about to plant some flowers in the front yard, but I have to dig up some of the sod and put it in the backyard before I start. I'm sure it'll be enjoyable. I gotta stay busy though. The busier I stay, the better I feel. I need to clean my grill also. I used it one night to cook some bratwursts.. and they were great. I feel like some crabs this weekend so I'll probably go pick some up and cook them outside in the backyard. Ahhh.. the summer time...

Ironic

The irony of it all... Today one of my co-workers asked me to go shopping with him.. It seem odd, then I thought about it.... RING SHOPPING... He confirmed this was it. Reminds me of all the days I went ring shopping, but couldn't find the "one." With an investment like that, you have to find the right one, just like when you're finding a wife. Who knows, I might go in there and buy me one too. But then I think about it, and I don't think that'll be a wise move. It's been a month so far and only contact has been an email and one late night phone call. Makes me wonder, I wonder if feelings are mutual. If her thoughts are consumed of me, as mine are with her. If she picks up the phone to call, then puts it back down. All I can do is pray about it. But anyways, back to the ring shopping. I felt honored that he asked me to go. He's a lucky guy... when you get to that point when you go shopping, it's great... But it can be all taken away with just a few actions and words...

thoughts of an idle mind

when i lost you, i thought i would be just fine and could move on. boy was I wrong. when i lost you, i lost a part of me. a part that i want back so bad, but once a good girl is gone, like jay says, she's gone forever. so i continue on with these emotions, thoughts, and daydreams, lost in their whirlwind. love feels so good, and hurts so bad. another love rollercoaster has started, twirled me around and around, and let me off when the ride is over, leaving me disoriented, yet joyous. yes, i said it, joyous. days were not always bad, but also good. forget good, they were blissful. walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, trips out of town, walks downtown. memories i'll keep dear to my heart. well, now it's time to go, this amusement park named life. time for myself to draw myself to another ride so i can again go on this rollercoaster named love. i fear not, it may be new, but sure to be exciting, but in the back of my mind, i'll always want to get on that 2nd one, and stay on that one forever.

bwright

New Day

I really don't have much to put down right now, but I just want to say thank God for family and friends. They will help you out and sometimes don't even know they are helping you out... I have some great friends and I'm go glad that they are in my life.

BWright

Mistaken Thoughts of the Mind

Well, this is my first post back on here in a while... I needed to put some thoughts on paper about some feelings that I had inside of me. The title of this post is "Mistaken Thoughts of the Mind." I know many of you have had something set in your mind and you knew that it was no doubt about it. What happens when it is not true. You were wrong, the unthinkable happened... Wow.. what a feeling...

For example, you study hard for a test, no doubt in your head that you'll pass it... then you get an F... As my boy Kevin says, you get that cold slap of reality...

In my case, I thought I could get over something. Thought I could not worry about it and just let it be, and let God work his magic for me, whether it was good or bad. Well, then something that I expected and wanted to happen, didn't happen. I thought I would be ok with it, but sometime during the wee hours of the morning, I felt myself break down. It wasn't good. It cut me deep, gashed me actually. Even with a sincere apology, I couldn't grasp my feelings. So many, so many types. I realized I'm no where near over it, and for the past three weeks, I've been so wrong. I've been trying to force myself to get over it, something I said that I can't allow myself to do, and I've been fooling myself. Time will have to be my best friend.

I should have noticed the signs. Like Usher said, I had it bad. It's bad when you see fog lights on a car and have to turn your head to see what type of car it is. It's bad when you see a car of a certain body style and color and almost get your self in a wreck by trying to look too hard. It's bad when you check your cell phone three or four times a night to see if you missed a call or a text message. It's bad when you check your watch and don't worry about what you have to do, but think about the schedule of someone else.

It's amazing how one event can open up a can of worms... feelings of all sorts, and you strive to reach that one moment of clarity... I had a temporal moment, but has since become cloudy with more thoughts than the human brain can muster. Thoughts of who was right, who was wrong, and if that should have been an issue... Thoughts of losing a friend, a good one, who put your in your placed when you needed to be put there, Thoughts of have you just lost the best thing to ever happen to you... Thoughts of life, love, and that everlasting pursuit of happiness...